


Poisoned Mind

by Nerdy_Bird



Category: Horizon: Zero Dawn
Genre: Other, Suicide mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 16:16:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14084745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdy_Bird/pseuds/Nerdy_Bird
Summary: I'm not in a good place right now, so I'm writing this.





	Poisoned Mind

“  _Kill me._ ”

 

Those words hung in the air like fog, a simple request dripping with despair and sadness.

 

“ I only claim the lives of those who deserve to hear  _The Song Of Our Teeth_ , you, child, are innocent.”

 

Their face turned hard at his refusal.

“ No one is  _innocent_ , we’ve all committed some crime or another,” they said in frustration.

 

“ But all are not equal in their malice... No, I won’t grant your death-wish, your poisoned mind is not a reason to meet my blade.”

 

“  _Ugh_! You’re just like all the others! You walk around here proud of your killing, but when someone actually asks for their death, you refuse because of your ever-thinning morality! I want to die, but I don’t want to suffer - God knows I’ve done enough of that as it is..”

 

“ Oh, make no mistake: I  _am_  a monster without morals, but I’m a monster with a code. You don’t deserve to die. Now those who made you this way...they’re death is debatable at best..”

 

They turned to walk away, having had enough of Nil’s rejection, but froze as he began to speak:

 

“ What they did to you, it was like poisoning a well. Each sip and the  _pain_  grew worse and the  _hate_  grew strong, but you can’t tell if it’s for you or them, sometimes it doesn’t matter. You wonder why they did it - the answers are always the same, ‘  _It’s how we were raised_ ,’ ‘ _I didn’t know any better_.’ The truth is that is doesn’t matter why they did it, the point is that they never stopped.

I was like you, stuck in a place I didn’t want to be with people I didn’t want to be with. It makes your insides fester like an infected wound - dreaming of escape yet terrified of the world outside of your torment. I know your pain, your fear, your rage, I know too well the monsters the scarred your body and broke your mind.”

 

Tears began to slide down their cheeks, his words shaking them to their inner core.

 

“ You’re right, this is a poison, and it kills me a little each day and the pain is only growing worse, so why don’t you end me? A mercy-killing is all I ask for..”

 

“ Because a poison doesn’t mean death, although it certainly tries. Maybe it kills you while you search out an antidote, maybe you kill yourself before the toxins finally take you...or.”

 

“ _Or what?_ ”

 

“ You find out that you built an immunity while sipping from that tainted well, but you’ll only find out if you stay alive.”

 

“ Pfft, some wonderful possibilities you listed there: Death, death, or maybe life, but you won’t find out which it is unless you _suffer_ and wait.”

Nil smiled.

 

“ Life has a funny sense of humor, doesn’t it? A long time ago I was in your shoes, begging for a means to an end, and now I see why _she refused_.. I won’t kill you, I won’t judge you for choosing to end your life, but I will say this:

Life isn’t simple or predictable, one day you’re lost in your own thoughts and the next something walks into your life and consumes them. _What you feel in this moment isn’t guaranteed for a lifetime_ , so find that something, or don’t. The choice will always be yours.”


End file.
